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Monday, June 27, 2011
I'm glad that this experience is now over because I don't think being a full-time working mom is for me (or for my daughter for that matter). I'm not saying that being a stay-at-home mom is in any way easy, but at least when I stay at home I don't feel guilty at how little time I am spending with my daughter and I don't have to constantly leave her while she is screaming and crying that she wants me to stay. As a working mom, the moment I got home my daughter wanted all my attention but I still had to cook supper, and on the weekend I had to run around doing various things like groceries and laundry. It seems like even when I was home, I didn't have much time to spend with her.
The internship was perhaps a little worse than some (though not all) jobs. At rush hour, it was a 45 minute drive from home partly in bumper-to-bumper traffic, which added to an already long day. And after Sarah went to bed at night, I had to complete loads of paperwork, research and various assignments before I could go to bed myself. Since my husband has had a particularly busy schedule himself over the last while, we were lucky if the dishes got done twice a week!
On the other hand, staying at home every day puts me into a rut, drains my energy, and deprives me of adult human contact. I personally find it exceedingly difficult to be the sole focus of my daughter's every demand (and she has no small list) every day and all day. The activities she enjoys doing are not usually what I most enjoy, which is sometimes good for me and sometimes exhausting. I know it's all part of being a mother and I am so fortunate to be able to stay home with her but I need something to fill my own cup a little more.
I think my ideal solution is to work one or two days a week. Now I'm not just talking about going to any old job just to scrounge up a little cash and waste some time, but real, fulfilling work where I'm doing something I really enjoy. Two days gets me that time away from home I need to come back refreshed and ready to be fully present with my daughter.
Now if I could just put that plan into action...
How do you feel about being a work/home situation?
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