The Two-Year-Old Dependency Paradox

Anyone who has ever had a 2-year old knows that life with a child of that age can be full of paradoxes. I find that one of those paradoxes exists around dependency.

My 2-year-old Sarah is an extremely independent child. If she falls down, don't even try to sympathize or help her back up. She will not hold my hand going down the stairs or even allow me to have my hand hover near her. If I try to help her with something she is working on and she hasn't asked for my help, you can only imagine the response. And worst of all, despite my continuing efforts, she is convinced that she does not need to hold my hand while crossing the street or walking in a parking lot. Sometimes she even forcefully breaks away from me, runs across the street and once she is safely on the other side, she looks at me and says "Good job Sarah!" The look in her eyes tells me "See Mommy. I can do it myself!"

And then there's the dependent Sarah. God forbid she should be able to play on her own for a few minutes while I fold laundry or cook supper. Instead she's always there making her hundred requests per minute or trying to get me to play another game. While I can see improvement in that area, there's no more dependent time for Sarah than sleep time. Sarah needs her water bottle (filled with cold water) and the closet doors must be closed. Even the idea that anyone other than me should put her to sleep is ridiculous. Some days she is so needy that I want to scream!

Sometimes it can be hard for mothers to talk about dependent toddlers. From parents to doctors to psychologists to just about anybody, you hear that the sooner you eliminate dependent tendencies the better. So many people are focused on having independent children. According to Dr. Sears, "[t]he problem with many of the modern theories about discipline is that they focus so much on fostering independence that they lose sight of the necessity for a toddler to continue a healthy dependence."^[1]

There are definite disadvantages to having a dependent 2-year-old. Mothers who respond to dependent toddlers may find that they have considerably less freedom than mothers who push independence, and then there's the peer pressure to push independence as well. But the advantages to your toddler will last a lifetime. Once again, Dr. Sears points out:

Best odds for a baby developing a healthy sense of self is for the baby to separate from the mother and not the mother from the baby. Discipline problems are less likely to occur when baby separates from mother gradually.^[1]

The dependent/independent patterns of a 2-year-old are perfectly normal. Relax and remember that your child will become more independent in his or her own time. Nurtured dependence in infants and toddlers can lead to secure independence when your child is older.

[1] "Helping a Toddler Ease into Independence," AskDrSears.com, accessed September 26, 2010 from http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T131500.asp

Fun with Numerology

Okay, so please forgive me for straying into an area where there is no scientific research involved. Today is my birthday and that got me thinking about numerology. Numerology involves looking at the numbers that make up your birth date and/or converting letters from names in to numbers to analyze what influence those numbers are playing in your life.

Let's cut to the chase. Most people get the basic idea of numerology and if you don't know about it, it's not hard to find information about it on the internet. I'm more interested in talking about what numerology is good for. Some people take numerology really seriously: they choose their dates based on them and wouldn't name a cat without checking the numbers first.

Now while I have checked numerology of some things here and there, generally I prefer a more relaxed approach. Numerology brings up issues that are common to all people. All numbers apply to all people, it's just about which numbers/issues come to the forefront in which areas of a particular person's life. It never hurts to do a little self-exploration and numerology might be helpful with that.

My favourite numerology system is the Life-Purpose System by Dan Millman (author of Way of the Peaceful Warrior).^[1] In that system, my birthday becomes a 42/6 life path number. According to Millman, those on the 42/6 life path are here to "work through issues of perfectionism, process, and responsibility, taking life one step at a time, manifesting their vision in practical ways, and accepting the inherent perfection of their life."^[1] All I can say is that it's soooo true!

If you're at all inclined to do your numerology, I say go for it! If you want to take it seriously, you can find practitioners to help you with it. Otherwise find a book or a website and have fun!

[1] Dan Millman, The Life You Were Born To Live: A Guide To Finding Your Life Purpose (Tiburon, CA: H J Kramer, 1993).

Qi and the Energy Meridians

Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) "is one of the world's oldest complete systems of holistic health care."^[1] A major part of TCM is the idea of qi (pronounced CHEE), and the energy meridians that qi flows through.

Qi is considered to be a vital life force energy which "flows through the body following pathways called meridians."^[1] Qi must flow properly along the meridians in order for a person to remain healthy.^[1] Improper flow can mean that qi is stagnant (not moving), deficient or excessive.^[1]

There are a number of qi meridians which "flow along the surface of the body and through the internal organs."^[1] You may be familiar with the meridians if you've ever experienced acupuncture (or acupressure). The many surface points that correspond with the meridians are where acupuncturists place their needles.^[1]

Conventional medicine doesn't have anything resembling qi or energy meridians. But is there any reason to believe that Traditional Chinese Medicine (which has been around for something like 5,000 years), and the ideas of qi and energy meridians have any merit?

Well, there are many, many studies that show that acupuncture is beneficial in helping people with all sort of different issues. And I found one study that looked at the difference in electrical activity between points on the skin that run along TCM's energy meridians (called acupoints) and points that are not associated with energy meridians. The study found that there is more electrical activity along meridians than in other areas of the skin.^[2] In addition, the electrical activity along the meridians shows distinct patterns when the person is undergoing qi healing (in the form of different energy healing practices such as Reiki and Therapeutic Touch).^[2]

In various health theories including Tradition Chinese Medicine (TCM), energy is considered to be a blueprint for our physical form, and it is believed that physical illness will first manifest in our energy field. If you would like to learn more about what type of energy healing might benefit you, please book a Personal Health Consultation at Know Thy Health.

[1] Larry Trivieri, Jr. and John W. Anderson, eds., Alternative Medicine: The Definitive Guide (Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts, 2002), 456-461.

[2] Maria Syldona and Glen Rein. "The Use of DC Electrodermal Potential Measurements and Healer's Felt Sense to Assess the Energetic Nature of Qi," Journal of Alternative & Complementary Medicine 5, no. 4 (1999): 329-347. Accessed September 18, 2010. http://www.liebertpub.com/products/product.aspx?pid=26.

Is Any Weight Loss Healthy?

I saw a new story the other day that really got me thinking. A nutrition professor from Kansas has been on a "junk food" diet for three weeks and he has lost 13 pounds!^[1] On top of the weight loss, his bad cholesterol levels have gone down and his good cholesterol levels have gone up.^[1] Can this be possible?

First of all, we have to be specific about what he's really eating. He's basically eating Twinkies, sugary cereal and milk, a few veggies, and the occasional hot dog and Doritos.^[1] Technically, and I'm really stretching it here, he's got the food groups covered (though nowhere near in the proper proportions).

A little word of warning here, I am not a nutritionist. But I do know a little bit about how the body works so here's what I think. There are logical explanations for why he is losing weight and why his cholesterol levels are changing. But is any weight loss good weight loss? I think not! Chances are that after this "diet" is over, he'll go back to his old way of eating and gain all of the weight back anyway. Even if he does transition to an actually healthy diet, his body will be so - and I use a technical term here - out of whack that it will probably take months for it to detox from the chemicals and actually start to be healthy. The problems this diet could cause won't even necessarily be obvious but may exist throughout his entire body.

To this man's credit, he's not recommending this diet to anyone else. I think he's doing a combination of experimenting (at his own expense) and perhaps trying to make a point that not all weight loss is good weight loss. Unfortunately, there are so many diet-crazed people out there that I expect at least hundreds, if not thousands of people to try the Twinkie diet out (though probably without the vegetables). The Twinkie diet is a shining example of why fad dieting is a bad idea!

[1] "Nutrition professor loses weight on Twinkie diet," CTV News, accessed September 18, 2010 from http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Health/20100917/twinkie-diet-100917/.

Unmet Expectations

I've been thinking a lot about expectations lately. I started to notice an interesting trend in my life. Some of you mothers who take care of your child(ren) all day long may know what I'm talking about. When I've had a long day at home taking care of my daughter, at some point in the afternoon (or sometimes much sooner), I really look forward to the time when my husband will get home. I start watching the clock for what I think will be the exact time of his arrival.

Now some of those days, my husband will arrive on time or even early, and I feel relieved. Other times, he'll call and say he won't be home yet or he'll be in a meeting that goes long and can't even call. Those few hours or even minutes after his expected arrival time can be torturous. Sometimes that little bit of time can bring me to tears. What's up with that? I mean, I've survived a whole week with my husband away so it's not like I can't handle a whole day alone with my daughter.

The more I thought about this particular situation and others like it, the more I realized that I don't deal very well with my unmet expectations. I wonder, does everyone deal with unmet expectations as "badly" as I do?

Studies show that expecting a reward and not getting it causes a large drop in dopamine levels, creating an unpleasant feeling that is a lot like pain.^[1] Maybe I should always expect the worst? Well, while that might make me feel better for a little bit, studies show that the cost of such an attitude on my personality probably outweighs the short-term benefits.^[2]

The way I see it, I think it's important to be optimistic (more on that another day) but it's not realistic to "expect" things that aren't under our control. I can't control what time my husband comes home any more than I can control whether or not my 2 year-old will nap at a specific time (or at all these days). I'm pretty sure that dropping all of my unreasonable expectations is not going to be the easiest task, but considering how miserable they can make me, I think it will be worth it. Step 1 - Time to figure out what my "unreasonable" expectations are!

What expectations do you have that aren't serving you?

[1] Dr. David Rock. "(Not So Great) Expectations." Psychology Today, November 23, 2009. Accessed September 16, 2010. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-brain-work/200911/not-so-great-expectations.
[2] Sarit A. Golub, Daniel T. Gilbert, and Timothy D. Wilson. "Anticipating one's troubles: The costs and benefits of negative expectations," Emotion 9, no. 2 (2009): 277-281. Accessed September 16, 2010. doi: 10.1037/a0014716.

Spirituality vs. Religion

According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary:

Religion: a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practice^[1]
Spirituality: the quality or state of being spiritual^[2]

Wow... those don't really say much. The difference between religion and spirituality is one of those modern topics that seems to be everywhere. I did a quick search and found a ton of articles on the topic. Even so, I thought this topic would be a good place to start my personal discussion about spirituality. WARNING! This is all my personal opinion and it is not my intention to offend anyone, but to be as respectful of all opinions as possible.

Let's start with spirituality. The word "spirit" comes from the Latin "spiritus" meaning breath.^[3] Breath is the essence of life; without it, there simply is no life. To me, spirituality is the act of searching for, feeling and living your true connection with God, the universe, science or whatever else you might believe in that is essential for the creation and sustenance of life.

And then, I think religion is an organized form of spirituality. Religion can include a specific set of beliefs, practices and/or traditions. In a sense, I think religion attempts to put a box around spirituality. You might be thinking that I'm going to start bashing religion like so many do. Actually, I think that religion has both positive and negative attributes. On the positive side, religion can help someone find their way through some of the difficulties of spirituality. It can provide a sense of community and support. A religion generally has specific teachings with countless people who have considered all aspects of every bit of it. Now moving to some disadvantages of religion, I think that sometimes all the structure masks the original spirituality. Many people belong to a religion and go through the motions without ever attempting to bring spirituality into their lives. Sometimes, people can build hierarchies in religions that allow them to consolidate power and push their own point of view into the teachings and these distortions can remain even centuries later.

Spirituality also has advantages and disadvantages in comparison to religion. Sometimes taking a spiritual path that is all your own can seem a little lonely. It may mean being different than others in your family or community. Taking a spiritual journey doesn't mean you won't be able to find teachers just as it means you won't necessarily be lead astray. Spirituality can also bring you strength and peace. And just because you haven't joined a specific religion doesn't mean you can't find a spiritual community with similar values.

So, there's religion and there's spirituality... Some choose one or the other, some choose neither and some choose both. Some people aren't even aware of the choice they have made. Just as all people are different, what works for each of us is different too. Is your spiritual life working for you?

[1] Merriam-Webster, s.v. "Religion," http://www.merriam-webster.com/ (accessed September 12, 2010).
[2] Merriam-Webster, s.v. "Spirituality," http://www.merriam-webster.com/ (accessed September 12, 2010).
[3] Merriam-Webster, s.v. "Spirit," http://www.merriam-webster.com/ (accessed September 12, 2010).

Flower Essence Therapy

"Flower Essences are liquid remedies which contain the vibrational or energetic 'essence' of a particular flower."^[1] Yup, here we go with an energy healing practice! Basically, flower essences are very similar to homeopathic remedies in that they are made of plant (in this case the flower of the plant) tinctures that are diluted over and over again. By the time you get a Flower Essence, there is nothing chemically left of the original flower. Actually, Flower Essences aren't meant to help a person heal chemically but energetically, and an electrical signature of the flower does remain in the Flower Essence tincture you buy at the store.

But can this liquid made of alcohol and water really affect your "energy?" Dr. Jeffrey Cram studied some specific Flower Essences against a placebo to see if the essences could calm people when they were exposed to mental stress. He didn't test the Flower Essences by asking the 24 subjects how they were feeling; he measured the electrical activity of their brains and muscles. And yes, he found that Flower Essences did make a difference compared to the placebo!^[2]

So what can Flower Essences help you with? Flower Essences help you address mental, emotional and spiritual issues and are a useful in self-development. A Flower Essence Therapy practitioner interviews you and determines which particular Flower Essences, or combination thereof, are best suited to help you reach your goals. There are Flower Essences for everything from learning how to accept your limits (Oak) to helping you feel emotional balance (Chamomile). "As Flower Essences help you uncover your unwanted thoughts and feelings, you can deal with unresolved issues and release feelings which may be negatively affecting your health."^[1]

Most Flower Essence combinations are taken for 28 days, during which it is also recommended that you engage in some sort of self-reflection activity, something like journal-writing or drawing. The self-reflection helps you realize what may be happening with the Flower Essences and helps you deal with your feelings.

If you are interested in trying Flower Essence Therapy, please book a session at Know Thy Health.

[1] Know Thy Health. "Know Thy Health's Services." Accessed September 11, 2010 from http://www.knowthyhealth.ca/services.html.
[2] Flower Essence Society. "Flower Essences stress reduction study." Accessed September 11, 2020 from http://www.flowersociety.org/cram2.html.

Human Energy Field

Though not traditionally a specific component of the holistic view, I think that exploring the energetic side of healing is important. The exact relationship between energy and the body is not known scientifically though there are several different schools of thought on the matter, some of them very ancient. I find energy healing fascinating, not from a scientific point of view, but from an experience point of view. Each and every encounter I have had with energy healing has taught me something about myself.

So let's start with the basics... Do humans have an "energy field?" The term "energy field" isn't really specific, but the short answer is yes. The human body has an electromagnetic field. This field is measurable in the brain with an EEG and in the heart with an ECG. In fact, "[t]he heart’s electrical field is about 60 times greater in amplitude than the electrical activity generated by the brain."^[1] The heart and brain have the most electromagnetic field but it is scientifically accepted that the entire body generates a small electromagnetic field.

What does that mean for our health? Well, for one, we're pretty sure that some other electromagnetic fields can make us ill. According to the World Health Organization, people who have been exposed to electromagnetic fields (EMF) have reported fatigue, headaches, depression, and a number of other symptoms.^[2] These claims have not all been verified scientifically though some studies have shown a possible increased risk of childhood leukemia.^[2] Exposure to stronger EMF, levels not generally found in the general public, may be related to cataracts.^[2] Though many specific health problems have not been scientifically linked to EMF, the WHO and most governments regulate EMF exposure.

On the other hand, some electromagnetic fields may be useful. Medical magnetic fields, which have been researched in Europe, can improve circulation and oxygen levels in tissues, relax muscles, stimulate tissue healing, heal fractures and strengthen bones more quickly, and improve cell metabolism.^[3] The scientific, medical community is beginning to see that EMF may be a useful tool in helping the body to heal itself.

Even more interesting than EMF is subtle energy. The term subtle energy is used to describe "a type of energy that is at present not fully understood or measurable with today's equipment."^[4] Researchers at Stanford University have developed a subtle energy detector, "with which they demonstrated the existence of an energy field that is not in the electromagnetic spectrum."^[4] They were also able to show that the subtle energy field responds to "intentional human focus."^[4] Now, scientists are still a long way from really knowing how this energy field works and what it means to our health, but just knowing that it exists makes me optimistic that energy healing is just something we haven't explained... yet!

So... Humans have energy fields, other energy fields affect us and our health (some positively and some negatively), and we can consciously affect some of our energy fields. Energy is another thing to consider when we want to think about our health and life holistically.

[1] Institute of HeartMath. "Science of the Heart - Head-Heart Interactions." Accessed September 10, 2010 from http://www.heartmath.org/research/science-of-the-heart/head-heart-interactions.html?submenuheader=3.
[2] World Health Organization. "What are electromagnetic fields?" Accessed September 10, 2010 from http://www.who.int/peh-emf/about/WhatisEMF/en/index1.html.
[3] William Pawluk, MD, MSc. "Medical Magnetic Fields." Accessed September 10, 2010 from http://www.naturalhealthweb.com/articles/pawluk1.html
[4] Robert Neil Boyd. "Institute of HeartMath Subtle Energy Research." Accessed September 10, 2010 from http://www.rialian.com/rnboyd/heart-math.htm.

Communicating with the Body

The human body is an incredible system and it is far more intelligent than we give it credit for. Okay, it doesn't have intelligence in the sense that it can solve a math problem or figure out how to get your child to fall asleep more easily... but your body is aware of what's going on throughout itself. When it is strong, your body can quickly eliminate diseases and keep all it's systems working smoothly. To do all that, your body carries information about the relative health of all it's systems, what is helpful to it and what isn't.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could communicate clearly with our bodies? What if your body could tell you that a little Vitamin D would do you wonders or that giving up wheat would stop that asthma? You could save time, money and effort searching through all the generic "this is good/bad for you" information out there, and know exactly what you needed to know.

There are a number of Complementary and Alternative Medicine therapies which use a method of communicating with the body known as Specialized Kinesiology or Energy Kinesiology. Specialized Kinesiology is the art of finding imbalances in a person, using multiple techniques including muscle testing.^[1] Muscle testing generally involves lightly touching a specific muscle to determine if that muscle is strong or weak.^[2]

In essence, practitioners using Specialized Kinesiology can use your muscles to "talk" to your body. You can find areas of your body which may be imbalanced. You may also be able to find out what may be causing those imbalances. Therapies that use Specialized Kinesiology include Touch for Health, Brain Gym, and NAET. Some people even learn a simple form of muscle testing to use on their own at home.

If you're interested in learning more about Specialized Kinesiology or any of the practices that use Specialized Kinesiology, consider a Personal Health Consultation from Know Thy Health.

[1] IASK. "International Association of Specialized Kinesiologists." Accessed September 4, 2010 from http://www.iask.org/eng_ny_side_02_welcome.htm.
[2] Larry Trivieri, Jr. and John W. Anderson, eds., Alternative Medicine: The Definitive Guide (Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts, 2002), 71.

Fatigue

Is there anyone who hasn't felt fatigue at some point in their life? Fatigue is a general lack of physical energy and mental/emotional motivation.^[1] Tired is one thing - you can feel good and still be tired; but fatigue means you're tired and you don't feel like doing anything, sometimes you don't even feel like sleeping!

Is it just me, or is fatigue just another one of those physical symptoms that people do their best to ignore? People seem to get used to feeling tired and listless. We ignore it or cover up with copious amounts of caffeine. It is a common feeling, but it isn't healthy when it lasts for extended periods of time. On the short term, fatigue is a natural "response to physical exertion, emotional stress, boredom, or lack of sleep."^[1] Long term, fatigue can be a sign of any number of conditions including anemia, depression, grief, chronic pain, sleep disorders and thyroid issues.^[1]

Quite simply, fatigue is a sign that you are in need of some sort of healing, whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. It is a good idea to pay attention to how what your body is telling you; your body is an expert on your life. If you are frequently experiencing fatigue, consider talking to your doctor about it. Then if you are interested in exploring further healing options, set up an appointment for a Personal Health Consultation at Know Thy Health.

[1] Fatigue. MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia. Retrieved September 3, 2010, from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003088.htm.

Is it the Placebo Effect?

Sometimes complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) therapies are not easily explained in current scientific terms. People may ask if the healing effects of those CAM therapies are nothing more than the placebo effect. According to The Skeptic's Dictionary, "[t]he placebo effect is the measurable, observable, or felt improvement in health or behavior not attributable to a medication or invasive treatment that has been administered."^[1] The placebo effect is a controversial subject that is only beginning to be studied in detail.

As for CAM therapies, I can't exactly speak for all of them at once since there are so many of them and they are all so different. Just like every person must be treated like an individual when it comes to health, so should each CAM therapy. It is possible that healing one experiences from certain CAM approaches is at least in part due to the placebo effect. If you view the placebo effect as some sort of scam or as something that's robbing you of the "real" effects you could be experiencing from some other therapy, then you might naturally reject CAM altogether.

Consider a different view of the placebo effect. What if it represents the fact that there is scientific evidence of the power of the mind in healing? In some cases, a treatment or practice that demonstrates the placebo effect is actually helping the person heal themselves. Since as a holistic health practitioner, one of my main goals is to help a person activate his or her own body's ability to heal itself, the placebo effect tells me that the person's thoughts and beliefs are as important, if not more so, than what tool we use to activate that healing. While this does not remove the responsibility to find the most effective, safe and appropriate CAM practices in working with a person, it opens up the possibilities.

I found an interesting thought about the placebo effect that resonated with me:

It may be, then, that the simplest and least ethically hazardous way to capitalize on the placebo effect is to acknowledge that medicine isn’t just a set of approved treatments--it’s also a ritual, with symbolism and meaning that are key to its efficacy.^[2]

If you want to investigate how you might be able to believe your way to better health, invest in a Personal Health Consultation from Know Thy Health.

[1] Robert T. Carroll. “Placebo effect.” Accessed August 26, 2010. http://www.skepdic.com/placebo.html.
[2] Rebecca Tuhus-Dubrow. “The magic cure.” The Boston Globe, May 9, 2010. Accessed August 26, 2010. http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2010/05/09/the_magic_cure/?page=full.

Antibacterial Hand Soap

I have a pet peeve and it's this whole antibacterial hand soap craze! I can't understand why, in an age where superbugs are starting to emerge and kill people and everyone is talking about the overuse of antibiotics in medicine, people would jump on another antibacterial craze.

Do you know what has been used for hundreds of years, is safe (at least when you leave out colours and fragrances), doesn't lead to antibacterial resistance and eliminates enough bacteria to keep you healthy? It's called soap!

A review of various scientific studies has found that your average made-for-home use antibacterial soaps were no more effective than plain soaps.^[1] In addition, researchers say that the main active ingredient in many antibacterial soaps "may cause some bacteria to become resistant to commonly used drugs such as amoxicillin."^[1]

If that's not enough to discourage you from using antibacterial soaps, another study has shown that a common antibacterial chemical used in soaps interfere with normal hormone action in a way that may contribute to health problems including cancer, reproductive failure and developmental anomalies.^[2] This hormone interruption may not be a "big deal" on its own but there are lots of chemicals out there that can affect us so we hardly need one more, especially one that is not really providing us with any benefit.

So please consider doing your body a favour... Throw out your antibacterial soaps and stick with plain old soap.

[1] The Risk. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 31, 2010, from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/08/070815173055.htm.
[2] Activities, Study Finds. ScienceDaily. Retrieved August 31, 2010, from http://www.sciencedaily.com­/releases/2007/12/071207150713.htm.