From a spiritual point of view, I believe the old saying is true: "cheaters never prosper." However, spiritual consequences are not necessarily obvious to most of us and we instead see so many people "getting away" with cheating.
While adultery is a form of cheating, the type cheating I am focusing on here involves violating rules dishonestly.[1] This issue came to me as I was watching Dr. Phil a while ago (don't judge, I'm fascinated by mental/emotional issues) and he was talking to a woman who had cheated to win a competition. As he talked to various guests who had cheated on this or that, they all believed that they were in the right to cheat. I was a little horrified! I couldn't believe how many people would do whatever they could to get ahead.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised. It's not like I haven't witnessed cheating in university and college, or cheating in games and sports. As a bit of an optimist, I guess that I always hoped that people knew that cheating was bad but were under enough pressure to make bad decisions. To hear people say that they had no problem with cheating if it got them what they wanted just broke my heart.
I think that most people would agree that honesty is a key part of spirituality. You might be able to knit-pick at the definition of honesty and argue over white lies and such, but I can't see how you would explain cheating as anything but a choice to be dishonest.
Is it any wonder that society has so many problems when there are so many who do not care about the consequences of dishonesty? Would people make different choices if they could see, hear and feel what happens as a result of their choices? I wonder what I can do to change this trend, and the only thing I can come up with is that I should succeed in my life without cheating and try to teach my daughter what I think the consequences of cheating are.
How do you feel about cheating?
[1] Merriam-Webster, s.v. "Cheating," http://www.merriam-webster.com/ (accessed January 11, 2011).
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Spirituality and Perfection
Isn't funny that so many people expect religious and spiritual leaders to be perfect? As if following a spiritual path somehow exempts you from facing challenges and making mistakes. I guess some people feel that way about spirituality. They think that becoming spiritual means leaving behind any vices and becoming some sort of "perfect" saint. Even those of us who don't consciously ascribe to this belief are often disappointed when someone we look up to makes a mistake. Sometimes it causes us to re-examine what we have learned from that person, as if a single mistake can undo all good someone has ever said and done. Talk about pressure!
I think there's interesting relationship between spirituality and perfection. The definition of perfection I'm talking about here is "being entirely without fault or defect."[1] I think some people view God (or the Universe, or whatever you like to call it) as perfect, and that spirituality is an attempt to be closer to God. Does that mean we are striving for perfection?
Every time I think about this, my head goes in circles. Humans are, by definition, imperfect and cannot simply become perfect. So is there really any point in trying? On the other hand, I don't think there's anything wrong in trying to follow your spiritual path and bringing a little of God's perfection into your life. I guess my feeling is that human imperfection is perfect.
I believe that part of the reason we are here is to learn lessons and grow as spiritual beings. Ultimately, I think that's what makes the Universe expands and what makes life possible. The only way we can do that is if we are imperfect enough to need to grow and learn.
So as I see it, it is necessary and perfect that we are imperfect. It is also necessary and perfect that we change so that we are able to grow and learn. I accept that where I am at in my life right now is perfect! Do you feel the need to be perfect?
[1] Merriam-Webster, s.v. "Perfect," http://www.merriam-webster.com/ (accessed January 7, 2011).
I think there's interesting relationship between spirituality and perfection. The definition of perfection I'm talking about here is "being entirely without fault or defect."[1] I think some people view God (or the Universe, or whatever you like to call it) as perfect, and that spirituality is an attempt to be closer to God. Does that mean we are striving for perfection?
Every time I think about this, my head goes in circles. Humans are, by definition, imperfect and cannot simply become perfect. So is there really any point in trying? On the other hand, I don't think there's anything wrong in trying to follow your spiritual path and bringing a little of God's perfection into your life. I guess my feeling is that human imperfection is perfect.
I believe that part of the reason we are here is to learn lessons and grow as spiritual beings. Ultimately, I think that's what makes the Universe expands and what makes life possible. The only way we can do that is if we are imperfect enough to need to grow and learn.
So as I see it, it is necessary and perfect that we are imperfect. It is also necessary and perfect that we change so that we are able to grow and learn. I accept that where I am at in my life right now is perfect! Do you feel the need to be perfect?
[1] Merriam-Webster, s.v. "Perfect," http://www.merriam-webster.com/ (accessed January 7, 2011).
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Reading Your Body to Learn About Your Mind
Our bodies are incredible machines - they do so much for us. Sometimes we treat them well and sometimes not so well. It is well accepted that our bodies tell the story of our physical life such as whether we have eaten well and exercised regularly, and what environments we have been exposed to. What is not so well accepted, and also not as well known, is that our bodies can tell the story of our mental and emotional lives as well.
Scientists are just beginning to discover just how much our emotional lives affect our bodies. There are multiple studies of how stress sets off reactions in the body and how chronic stress begins to negatively affect physical health. But there are several doctors and other practitioners who have long observed other relationships between mental/emotional patterns and physical disease.
Dr. Bernie Siegel has observed that the location and form of physical disease are often related to psychological disturbances. "Psychological shaping in the formative years ... often determines what disease will occur, and when and where it will appear."[1] He uses the example of a patient who had a persistent hoarseness and was eventually diagnosed with cancer of the larynx (throat). When this patient was young, when he would speak too loudly, his father would put his hand around his throat, squeeze, and tell him to shut up.[1]
Louise Hay is a practitioner who has created a list of problem areas or diseases and the corresponding probable mental/emotional causes. For example, she relates lower back problems to lack of financial support, and kidney stones to lumps of undissolved anger.[2]
The relationship between mind and body is complex. Since each person is unique, the psychological issues that contribute to a particular disease can vary. This makes the experiences of Dr. Siegel and Louise Hay difficult to prove scientifically. That can make it easy to dismiss this information, especially since we often don't want to explore our own feelings. But consider how strong the power of the mind is over the body. There are people with multiple personality disorder who have different allergies, different physical injuries or even different glasses prescriptions depending on which personality has surfaced.[3]
So spend some time listening to your body... you might learn a lot about yourself.
[1] Dr. Bernie S. Siegel. Love, Medicine and Miracles: Lessons Learned About Self-Healing from a Surgeon's Experience with Exceptional Patients (New York: Harper and Row, 1986).
[2] Louise L. Hay. You Can Heal Your Life (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2004).
[3] Dr. Bernie S. Siegel. Peace, Love and Healing: Bodymind Communication and the Path to Self-Healing: An Exploration (New York: Harper and Row, 1989).
Scientists are just beginning to discover just how much our emotional lives affect our bodies. There are multiple studies of how stress sets off reactions in the body and how chronic stress begins to negatively affect physical health. But there are several doctors and other practitioners who have long observed other relationships between mental/emotional patterns and physical disease.
Dr. Bernie Siegel has observed that the location and form of physical disease are often related to psychological disturbances. "Psychological shaping in the formative years ... often determines what disease will occur, and when and where it will appear."[1] He uses the example of a patient who had a persistent hoarseness and was eventually diagnosed with cancer of the larynx (throat). When this patient was young, when he would speak too loudly, his father would put his hand around his throat, squeeze, and tell him to shut up.[1]
Louise Hay is a practitioner who has created a list of problem areas or diseases and the corresponding probable mental/emotional causes. For example, she relates lower back problems to lack of financial support, and kidney stones to lumps of undissolved anger.[2]
The relationship between mind and body is complex. Since each person is unique, the psychological issues that contribute to a particular disease can vary. This makes the experiences of Dr. Siegel and Louise Hay difficult to prove scientifically. That can make it easy to dismiss this information, especially since we often don't want to explore our own feelings. But consider how strong the power of the mind is over the body. There are people with multiple personality disorder who have different allergies, different physical injuries or even different glasses prescriptions depending on which personality has surfaced.[3]
So spend some time listening to your body... you might learn a lot about yourself.
[1] Dr. Bernie S. Siegel. Love, Medicine and Miracles: Lessons Learned About Self-Healing from a Surgeon's Experience with Exceptional Patients (New York: Harper and Row, 1986).
[2] Louise L. Hay. You Can Heal Your Life (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 2004).
[3] Dr. Bernie S. Siegel. Peace, Love and Healing: Bodymind Communication and the Path to Self-Healing: An Exploration (New York: Harper and Row, 1989).
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Don't Grow Out of Play
As I watch my 2-year-old daughter go through her day, I am amazed at how important play is in her world. "Play is essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth."[1] Play is so important that the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights has declared it to be a right for every child.[1]
It's not hard to look around and find all the reasons that play is so important to a child. What I don't understand is why people try to discourage play as we grow older, and supposedly wiser. I guess that as adults, we are "allowed" to play in certain very specific circumstances such as sports, hobbies, or board games, but even on many of these occasions we take things much too seriously. If someone decides to play their way through the more serious tasks of life, such as work, socializing, and housework we call them "juvenile."
Of course there are those people who cannot take anything seriously, but that is not what I'm talking about. As adults, we should be able to perceive a situation accurately and make a good choice about whether a playful or most serious attitude would best serve us. What if doing the dishes became panning for gold? Or if filing your taxes was filling out an application form for becoming royalty? The possibilities are endless and many of the stresses of life would be reduced by a simple change in perspective - that would be great for our health.
I wouldn't exactly call myself a model for playful behaviour. Goodness knows that I was the type of child who was serious far before it became "necessary." It absolutely exhausts me to try to play to the level of my daughter day after day. Even though I don't think it's too late for me (or anybody else), I bring this up more in the context of children. What if we were able to teach our children to keep a healthy sense of play throughout their lives? How might their future and the future of the entire planet be different?
How could we possibly accomplish this? Well, I have to bring it back to us adults because one of the best ways to teach a child is through example. Even with example, it's probably not the easiest lesson to teach as the rest of the world continues to function seriously. But even a small step is a step!
So pick one thing you "have" to do this week and make it a game. And while you're at it, make sure your children catch you at it, or better yet ask them to join in. Let's make play a right for everyone!
[1] Kenneth R. Ginsburg. The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds, Pediatrics 119, no. 1 (2007): 182-191. Accessed January 1, 2011. doi: 10.1542/peds.2006-2697.
It's not hard to look around and find all the reasons that play is so important to a child. What I don't understand is why people try to discourage play as we grow older, and supposedly wiser. I guess that as adults, we are "allowed" to play in certain very specific circumstances such as sports, hobbies, or board games, but even on many of these occasions we take things much too seriously. If someone decides to play their way through the more serious tasks of life, such as work, socializing, and housework we call them "juvenile."
Of course there are those people who cannot take anything seriously, but that is not what I'm talking about. As adults, we should be able to perceive a situation accurately and make a good choice about whether a playful or most serious attitude would best serve us. What if doing the dishes became panning for gold? Or if filing your taxes was filling out an application form for becoming royalty? The possibilities are endless and many of the stresses of life would be reduced by a simple change in perspective - that would be great for our health.
I wouldn't exactly call myself a model for playful behaviour. Goodness knows that I was the type of child who was serious far before it became "necessary." It absolutely exhausts me to try to play to the level of my daughter day after day. Even though I don't think it's too late for me (or anybody else), I bring this up more in the context of children. What if we were able to teach our children to keep a healthy sense of play throughout their lives? How might their future and the future of the entire planet be different?
How could we possibly accomplish this? Well, I have to bring it back to us adults because one of the best ways to teach a child is through example. Even with example, it's probably not the easiest lesson to teach as the rest of the world continues to function seriously. But even a small step is a step!
So pick one thing you "have" to do this week and make it a game. And while you're at it, make sure your children catch you at it, or better yet ask them to join in. Let's make play a right for everyone!
[1] Kenneth R. Ginsburg. The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds, Pediatrics 119, no. 1 (2007): 182-191. Accessed January 1, 2011. doi: 10.1542/peds.2006-2697.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Healthy Resolutions?
Happy New Year! It's another new year's day (or as someone I know put it, arbitrary Gregorian boundary condition) and hosts of people are beginning to work on their resolutions in order to achieve their most desired wishes. This is a good way to take care of yourself right?
I'm afraid that I stopped making resolutions long ago. Like so many others, I found that I would start something on January 1st and quickly give up, most of the time before the end of January. I have thought about resolutions a lot and I figure that, overall but with some definite exceptions, they tend to be bad for your health. I certainly don't mean that the intention behind the resolutions are unhealthy - quite the contrary, so many resolutions are implemented in hopes of losing weight or being happier. But the results of resolutions are so often far from the intended gains.
Say you intend to lose a few Christmas pounds and you resolve to join a gym and go every week, three times a week. Week 1 is great, week 2 is tolerable, you drop to twice a week in week 3 (it's cold out), and so on and so forth until your gym membership is relegated to the bottom of your wallet and never seen or heard from again. At least you exercised for a few weeks right? On the other hand, what about the money you invested? And how do you feel about letting yourself down, and keeping every one of those Christmas pounds? You've just paid a high price for a good intention. It doesn't matter what the intention or resolution is, the price of "failure" is often too high.
Of course, I am not saying that you shouldn't try to get healthier or happier, I'm just saying that resolutions put into effect on an "arbitrary" date may not be the best way of going about it. Instead of focusing on resolutions, it is probably more useful to focus on your intentions. Be really clear, and really specific about what it is you want. Remember that this is quite different than being clear and specific about what it is you don't want. What will your target look like? What will you feel when you achieve it? What will you be thinking at that time? What will the repercussions be throughout your life and those around you? This might be a good time to get out a pen and paper and write it all down. Stick to one "target" at a time, since things get a little more confusing otherwise.
Just this process of setting clear and specific intentions will help you get what you want, but most of us need a little more of an action plan. What replaces the resolution? Goal-setting. Did I just lose you there? Goal-setting seems to have a reputation with some people as a dull and meaningless task, but done right, it can be one of the most useful tools you learn in your life. There's a lot to good goal-setting so I'll save that for another time.
If your resolution involves setting a good goal for a well-thought out intention which you decide to put it into place on January 1st, it might be healthy. Otherwise, success might be a matter of luck or will-power, and who enjoys relying on will-power?
I'm afraid that I stopped making resolutions long ago. Like so many others, I found that I would start something on January 1st and quickly give up, most of the time before the end of January. I have thought about resolutions a lot and I figure that, overall but with some definite exceptions, they tend to be bad for your health. I certainly don't mean that the intention behind the resolutions are unhealthy - quite the contrary, so many resolutions are implemented in hopes of losing weight or being happier. But the results of resolutions are so often far from the intended gains.
Say you intend to lose a few Christmas pounds and you resolve to join a gym and go every week, three times a week. Week 1 is great, week 2 is tolerable, you drop to twice a week in week 3 (it's cold out), and so on and so forth until your gym membership is relegated to the bottom of your wallet and never seen or heard from again. At least you exercised for a few weeks right? On the other hand, what about the money you invested? And how do you feel about letting yourself down, and keeping every one of those Christmas pounds? You've just paid a high price for a good intention. It doesn't matter what the intention or resolution is, the price of "failure" is often too high.
Of course, I am not saying that you shouldn't try to get healthier or happier, I'm just saying that resolutions put into effect on an "arbitrary" date may not be the best way of going about it. Instead of focusing on resolutions, it is probably more useful to focus on your intentions. Be really clear, and really specific about what it is you want. Remember that this is quite different than being clear and specific about what it is you don't want. What will your target look like? What will you feel when you achieve it? What will you be thinking at that time? What will the repercussions be throughout your life and those around you? This might be a good time to get out a pen and paper and write it all down. Stick to one "target" at a time, since things get a little more confusing otherwise.
Just this process of setting clear and specific intentions will help you get what you want, but most of us need a little more of an action plan. What replaces the resolution? Goal-setting. Did I just lose you there? Goal-setting seems to have a reputation with some people as a dull and meaningless task, but done right, it can be one of the most useful tools you learn in your life. There's a lot to good goal-setting so I'll save that for another time.
If your resolution involves setting a good goal for a well-thought out intention which you decide to put it into place on January 1st, it might be healthy. Otherwise, success might be a matter of luck or will-power, and who enjoys relying on will-power?
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