Are You Happy?

Have you been asked this question before? "Are you happy?" Or maybe you've been asked a more specific version of the question. "Are you happy at your job? Are you happy in your relationship?" What do people really mean when they ask that? Does it mean (1) "Are you happy?" Or does it mean (2) "Are you happy?" where happy is defined as what everybody thinks should make you happy?

In my old job as a computer programmer, when someone asked me if I liked my job, I was answering the second form of the question. After all, I had a stable job with interesting work, my co-workers and superiors respected me, I was gaining superiority, I had relatively consistent working hours, and to top it all off I made a decent amount of money. Aren't those the criteria for a perfect job? How could I not be happy?

But I wasn't really happy. It was difficult getting up in the morning to go to work and some days I would stare at the clock just hoping time might move a little bit faster. I cursed months without long weekends. When I got home at night I was so exhausted from struggling all day that it would be all I could do to manage a little supper and sit in front of the TV all night. Of course, I couldn't even let myself imagine that I wasn't happy (shouldn't it have been obvious?) because it would have meant that I had to change. I was afraid of leaving behind the stability of a job where I had some seniority. Should I have to consider not only changing jobs but changing careers as well, I feared letting go of the "prestige" of a science-based job and not having a strong and constant income.

Basically, my fears outweighed my desire to be happy. Overall in North American society, I think happiness isn't necessarily valued as much as status or wealth. Besides, I didn't really think it was possible for me to find work that would truly make me happy. That was the stuff of dreams and movies. Now, I see things differently... I'm sure that there is the possibility of true happiness out there for anyone who is ready to find it, in any area of life. It isn't necessarily easy but it is possible and it is worth it!

So whenever someone asks you "Are you happy?" pay attention to where your answers are coming from and if you really mean it. You don't have to change your answer but it's a step in the right direction for you to know the truth. Then you have the power of choice and that's one of the greatest gifts in the world.