Disclaimer

The information in Holistic at Heart is not a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information in this blog.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Are You Happy?

Have you been asked this question before? "Are you happy?" Or maybe you've been asked a more specific version of the question. "Are you happy at your job? Are you happy in your relationship?" What do people really mean when they ask that? Does it mean (1) "Are you happy?" Or does it mean (2) "Are you happy?" where happy is defined as what everybody thinks should make you happy?

In my old job as a computer programmer, when someone asked me if I liked my job, I was answering the second form of the question. After all, I had a stable job with interesting work, my co-workers and superiors respected me, I was gaining superiority, I had relatively consistent working hours, and to top it all off I made a decent amount of money. Aren't those the criteria for a perfect job? How could I not be happy?

But I wasn't really happy. It was difficult getting up in the morning to go to work and some days I would stare at the clock just hoping time might move a little bit faster. I cursed months without long weekends. When I got home at night I was so exhausted from struggling all day that it would be all I could do to manage a little supper and sit in front of the TV all night. Of course, I couldn't even let myself imagine that I wasn't happy (shouldn't it have been obvious?) because it would have meant that I had to change. I was afraid of leaving behind the stability of a job where I had some seniority. Should I have to consider not only changing jobs but changing careers as well, I feared letting go of the "prestige" of a science-based job and not having a strong and constant income.

Basically, my fears outweighed my desire to be happy. Overall in North American society, I think happiness isn't necessarily valued as much as status or wealth. Besides, I didn't really think it was possible for me to find work that would truly make me happy. That was the stuff of dreams and movies. Now, I see things differently... I'm sure that there is the possibility of true happiness out there for anyone who is ready to find it, in any area of life. It isn't necessarily easy but it is possible and it is worth it!

So whenever someone asks you "Are you happy?" pay attention to where your answers are coming from and if you really mean it. You don't have to change your answer but it's a step in the right direction for you to know the truth. Then you have the power of choice and that's one of the greatest gifts in the world.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Journal-Writing: Making Peace with an Old Enemy

I used to wonder what the big hype was with writing in a diary. Thanks to my idealism and perfectionism, for a short time I spent ridiculous amounts of time writing in my diary trying to record everything that I did in a day and repeating the process day after day after day. I hoped that some unknown day in the future I would somehow find the information useful, or at least interesting. It didn't take me too long to give up, being unable to pour so much energy into something that might one day be interesting in the future. I believe that I tried again once or twice in the same way and with the same outcome.

So imagine my dismay when in the early days of one of my first classes in holistic health, I found out that I needed to spend an entire semester journal-writing (a.k.a. journalling) every day. I was horrified at the thought but since I've almost never met a mark I wouldn't try to get, I followed the instructions and started writing. And that's when my opinion started to change. First I learned more about the subject intellectually and in the years since I started working more with journals, I have experienced some benefits myself.

I think Brian Luke Seaward explains the essence of what I learned best: "diary writing is a listing of personal events, while journal writing expands personal awareness and creativity, and offers seeds of resolution in personal struggles."[1] The more often you write in your journal, the more beneficial it can be but you don't have to do it every day. My journal sits on the shelf for a bit and then I pull it out whenever I feel inspired to work with it.  Also, you don't have to just straight-out write your feelings down to gain the advantages of journal-writing. You can write poetry, draw pictures and use any number of other techniques or exercises in your journal.

Benefits of journal-writing include release of pent-up emotions, increased awareness of one's habits of thought and behaviour, and even increased integrity of the immune system.[1] If you're interested in learning more about how journal-writing can work for you, please join me for a Personal Health Consultation at Know Thy Health.

[1] Brian Luke Seaward, Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being, 5th ed. (Sudbury, MA: Jones and Bartlett, 2006), 230-243

Friday, August 27, 2010

An "Overtired" Child is a Cruel Joke on Parents

Here's the scenario: For whatever reason, your child didn't get a good sleep last night. Maybe she went to be late or maybe she woke up because of a tummy ache or maybe something else all together. Unlike most "reasonable" human beings who would sleep in if they had the chance, your child wakes up earlier than usual. But the reduced amount of sleep has taken its toll: crabbiness, sensitivity, tantrums... Several hours and a lot less patience later, some time before her scheduled nap, you see her rubbing her eyes. "Hmm..." you think. "If I put her to bed now, her whole schedule will be messed up!" As you are trying to decide whether or not to put her to sleep, you fold another load of laundry. Before you know it your child is running around in circles and climbing walls. Oh no, now you've done it! Your child is overtired!! Dum DUM dum!

Sound dramatic? Maybe... Maybe not. Something not unlike this happened to me and my 2-year old daughter Sarah this morning. After an incredibly frustrating morning, I was dying to put her down for her nap. Instead of falling asleep almost immediately as she usually does when we get things right, she was running around the room, jumping on the bed, and singing at the top of her lungs. So what do some sleep trainers generally recommend in a circumstance like this? I believe lock them up and let them cry-it-out (CIO) comes to mind.

Now, forget children for a moment. Have you ever been overtired? Maybe some night you were absolutely exhausted but for whatever reason you pushed through it until you caught your "second wind." What happens then? When you're finally ready to go to bed, you just can't seem to fall asleep! What do sleep experts recommend when you're having trouble falling asleep? Well, there are recommendations like cut back on your caffeine and avoid stimulating activities before bedtime. Then there's the common suggestion that you shouldn't stay in bed when you can't sleep; instead you should get up and do something boring or calming.

Funny how the recommendations for children and adults are so different. Now I'll be the first to admit that what works for adults doesn't always work for children. But sometimes we just don't see the connection between what a child experiences and what we as adults experience, usually because our children aren't able to clearly communicate what they are thinking and feeling.

In this case with Sarah, I let her get back up and ravage the entire house instead of just the bedroom. I encouraged her to try to slow down and read some books. Believe me, I wanted nothing more than for her to sleep and leave me with a few moments of peace. But it certainly wasn't her fault that she was full of energy and couldn't fall asleep. Finally, an hour and a half after I expected her to fall asleep, I saw her rubbing her eyes again and was able to put her to bed without a fight. Another day, another test of patience!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Blogging: A Hole in My Blanket of Diplomacy

I'm really excited about blogging and really terrified! I enjoy writing and I'm looking forward to seeing where this experience takes me. On the other hand, this blogging is going to challenge me in at least two areas. For one, my perfectionism is going to have to suffer at least a little bit as I'm sure to make a mistake here or there. I don't exactly have hours of research and editing time to devote to every post and I'm only human. But what I really want to talk about is my sense of diplomacy.

Are you a diplomat? I mean, really think about it. If two different people from two completely different areas of your life both ask you the same question about a controversial topic, how different are the two answers you give? For that matter, how different are those answers to what you think to yourself? I've called this diplomacy but perhaps the most psychologically correct term is self-censorship.

Now, I think self-censorship obviously has its place. But when do we go to far? Maybe when we are hiding who we really are for the sake of avoiding disagreement with others. I don't know about you but I've certainly done my share of smiling and nodding. And that's what has me scared here. I'm not writing one version of my blog for one person and a different version for someone else. I'm picking my topics, and with a certain amount of self-censorship most likely included, I'm writing what I think about it. And so begins a big hole in my blanket of diplomacy.

So if you're ready to hear what I think, read on... And tell me, how much do you self-censor and is that okay with you?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Welcome to Holistic at Heart!

I'm enrolled in the Holistic Health Practitioner program at Grant MacEwan University. So when I'm at school I'm studying holistic health - where one attempts to consider all of the multiple aspects (physical, mental/emotional, spiritual, environmental, social) that play a role in the health of a person.[1] After spending so much time looking at health topics from a holistic point of view, I realized that I started looking at just about everything that way.

To me, looking at things holistically means particularly including the often ignored spiritual perspective. Of course looking at things from a purely spiritual perspective is not the idea either. In this blog, I'll talk a lot about holistic health and different complementary / alternative therapies or practices. I'll also talk about various challenges I have experienced in everything from my career to parenting. I want to hear your experiences and opinions too so please comment!

I'll be honest: my initial goal in creating this blog is to promote my holistic health business (please see my website - Know Thy Health). But the more I think about it, the more I hope this will be something even better for me - I hope it will help me do one of my favourite things... LEARN!

[1] Larry Trivieri, Jr. and John W. Anderson, eds., Alternative Medicine: The Definitive Guide (Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts, 2002), 7.