Anger - Good or Bad? (Part 1 - Sources of Anger)

A lot of people generally think of anger as a bad thing. There are always lots of stories of how anger has gone wrong and "caused" people to do bad things. Then I started to see news stories about how anger could be good for you. I wondered how people might react to that sort of headline.

As for me, I simultaneously understood that anger could be bad for you and anger could be good for you, but I wasn't really sure what the difference between good anger and bad anger was. I mean, I knew that it's all in how you deal with the anger but it took me a little research to really understand it.

First of all, there's the question of what is anger? "Anger is a natural emotion that alerts us when something has violated the natural order of how we think things should go... The bodily effects of anger are meant to motivate us to take charge and restore the balance of right and wrong."^[1] Those bodily effects include increased heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure.^[2] These effects, those of the "flight or fight" response, can be useful in the short-term but can be a strain on your body (particularly your heart) in the long-term.

So the first thing that separates "good" anger from "bad" anger is what a person is getting angry at. This is related to my blog entry on unmet expectations. If anger is your response to a goal being interfered with or an expectation not being met, the first step is to examine what your expectations are. Are your expectations realistic? Is the subject of your expectation something you can control?

Take for example a man who is stuck in traffic. He expects to be able to drive to his destination in a certain amount of time, and the traffic jam has just broken that expectation. This man is now angry. His body prepares him for action, but is there really anything he can reasonably do to restore his expectation? Perhaps he can find a way to exit the situation and find another route to work but this is best accomplished with patience and reason rather than immediate action. This situation might be an example of "bad" anger. I want to note that "bad" anger or not, it is a normal reaction and we all get angry when it isn't useful now and then - that's where anger management comes in (more on that later).

Another man is also late getting to his destination one morning. This man was not caught in traffic, but he did oversleep his alarm. He had stayed up late the night before watching TV. His tardiness caused his reputation to be tarnished with his client. As he gets out of bed and sees the time, this man becomes angry. His body prepares him for action and he is able to get himself out the door in record time. As he gets on his way, he decides that he does not want to repeat this experience and makes a commitment to himself to go to sleep at a reasonable time from now on. This anger may be considered "good" anger because it leads the man to change his behaviour to better help him toward his goals.

Take some time to consider what sort of things tend to make you angry. Think about your goals and expectations. Are your expectations reasonable? Are your goals achievable? Is your anger serving you?

Alas, there is more to anger than what causes you to be angry. Stay tuned - another day I will explore the expression of anger.

[1] "How Anger Works," Molly Edmonds, accessed November 10, 2010 from http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/other-emotions/anger.htm.
[2] "The Physiological Effects of Anger on Your Heart and What to Do About It," Laura Quintile, accessed November 10, 2010 from http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2616287/the_physiological_effects_of_anger.html?cat=5.