A few weeks ago, I talked about sources of anger, and how those sources affect whether your anger can be good for you or bad for you. But of course, anger is a natural part of life and you're bound to experience it at some point or another. What do you do then?
Basically, one answer is to express your anger. "Anger expression typically takes one of three forms: anger-in, anger-out and anger control."[1] Anger-in is anger directed inwards or perhaps suppressed. While some people think anger-in sounds like a good way of expressing anger, the anger can actually "leak out" in the form of passive-aggressiveness or cause further emotional problems such as depression.[1] Anger-out is anger directed outwards which can include verbal or physical assault.[1] Anger-out is not a good way of expressing anger for what I hope are obvious reasons.
Anger-control is considered to be the ideal means of anger expression. There are many ways to control your anger, but one effective way is to talk things over with the person that "caused" your anger.[1] And of course this talking isn't supposed to involve yelling but rather a discussion that leads to a resolution of the issue that triggered the anger. Sometimes though, it's not an option to talk to the person that triggered your anger whether it's because they are a stranger you will never see again or because no other person was involved at all.
Otherwise anger-control involves whatever helps you to best unwind. For some people exercise is the key, for others meditation, and others yet watching a good comedy. Talking to a friend can be helpful too. But if you're an anger-in kind of person, it's good to let the anger out in some way, even if it's just writing down your feelings in a journal. And if you're an anger-out kind of person, it's still good to let the anger out, just in a safe and calm manner.
When I think of anger expression, I tend to think of Yosemite Sam. When he gets angry, he starts with an anger-in sort of tendency where he bottles it all in and starts to turn bright red with hot steam starting to leak out. Then, it becomes all too much for him and he continues with anger-out expression involving some violence. Yosemite Sam is your shining example of what not to do with anger expression.
As for me, I'm mostly an anger-in kind of girl. I find it hard to admit to others that I am angry about something because I think it makes me look bad. But I am aware that stifling any sort of emotion can lead to health problems down the road so I am working on learning some more useful anger-control.
Do you have trouble expressing your anger?
[1] "How Anger Works: I Need to Vent! Anger Expression," Molly Edmonds, accessed December 5, 2010 from http://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/other-emotions/anger3.htm.
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